Dear Tiger,

I forgive you.

Don't worry, your disappointing behaviors really have had no affect on my life other than you're on the damn tv too much.

I don't care how many mistresses you had or who you fucked.

I don't give a shit, really.  I don't watch golf either, and it's your business where you drive your balls in for long and deep shots.

 

I personally don't care about your love life.

Hell, I don't even care about your golf game, buddy.  So, don't worry about it.  

People have

problems. 

Like, problems with say, cancer, and murder, and foreclosure and shit like that--  those little things

that gets everyone's panties in a bunch.

With you it just seems like you got really famous, got a bunch of money, fucked around on your wife, blah blah blah,

you and a bunch of other guys, and guess what? They're not on the news.

Know why?

BECAUSE IT'S NOT NEWS.

Guys have done stuff like this forever.

Nothing against you, personally, Tiger but I really don't care about your infidelities and crap.

I have more important things like

cleaning my house

because I don't have a maid,

but you probably do.

Or my kid who asks me why you are on every single channel

apologizing.

The news and you think to seem we all want to know, but I just want you to know

that I really don't care what you did.

But, your wife probably does.

So can you please get off my tv now?

News channel, please find some ACTUAL NEWS.

There's plenty of it out there.

Thank you.