Saturday, January 30, 2010

SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN!

Itty bitty titty committee banned in the AU.
http://www.somebodythinkofthechildren.com/australia-bans-small-breasts/

The Blackwater Gun Salesmen


















My experience with these two guys, cocky, and somewhat handsome men sitting at the rail.

Dressed in fine clothing, smelled good, well groomed.

The usual players.  But not.  I came over and said hello to them.  They seemed very interested in me, so we talked a bit and I asked them what they did.

"Uh".

No response.

Right away I knew.  They were 'blackwater boys'.

I said it aloud.
"BLACKWATER."

"How did you know that?" 

One of them said with amazement.

It didn't matter how I knew, but that I knew.

I said

"I'm one of those."

"Those" meaning, I can pick up on people quite easily and I have that weirdness ability going on.

I didn't want to get into it.

As they didn't want to get into what they did.
However,
$60.00 and a few drinks later, one of them, the better looking one said that he needed a few more jobs to
afford the VIP room.

He said I had to learn how to:

":point with your finger and press the button:"

"It's a good living."

In other words, shoot people.

For every person they shot, they'd get $200.  

Not sure if I believed them, and then one of them handed me his work business card.

'Smith&Wesson.'

'Ok.'

I said.  Yep.
Here it was.

And besides, the more the guys drink the more honest they become for some reason, or they just don't give a fuck.  Probably a bit of both.

They haggled about the prices of VIP, and said it wasn't even that much in Vegas.
And, their friend got arrested by the FBI for no reason.

"Waa!" 
I thought, and I'm sure there was a reason.  The FBI doesn't arrest people for playing fucking checkers.

I said
"This ain't Vegas, and they can charge you however much they want to charge-  if they're the only business in town!"

They asked me to 'come to Maui' probably 16 times.  I asked why, and they said they were taking a nice trip for fun and sun.

I had wondered if I was a gun salesman or a killer, perhaps I'd be going on vacation instead of contemplating food stamps at this point in time.

On another note I couldn't kill anyone for $200.00.  I can't even give a hand job for $200.00, never mind take someone's life.


Needless to say, I didn't make it to the VIP room with them.

They grabbed some bitch that looked like a dwarf instead.

Probably because the Universe knew,
and maybe I knew I could never take money made by murder.

Maybe I have before, but I didn't realize it at the time.

And, it is true, what you don't know, won't hurt you.

I guess I'll be applying for my food stamps this week too.





If this doesn't make you cry, you are a robot.
Blackwater's Youngest Victim
http://www.thenation.com/doc/20100215/scahill

Writing my book

Simply entitled STRIPPER, will be a smorgasbord of funny, weird, true, and strange stories.  I don't know if I will add photos, or not.
The more photos I add, the more I will have to charge you to buy it, because it will cost me more to make.

And, if there aren't any photos, you can actually say you read it for the articles.  ;)

What's missing in this photo? A cookie for you if you can guess!

Friday, January 29, 2010

Priorities, Unemployment, and the Trickle Down Stripper Factor



http://www.shadowstats.com/



As you may know, in this country we spend excessive amounts of money to fight wars.
The War on Terrorism, for instance is just like the War on Drugs, and just like the generic WAR ON _______ (place noun there) it's generally just a nuisance and costs more money to fight this 'war'-- and gets us nowhere. Do we ever really win?
I don't think we do.

Back to the 'gets us nowhere' part. Yes, it gets us, meaning 'us'- the average American nowhere, but if you look at war-profiteering companies like Haliburton, and others, they actually get somewhere. Billions of dollars of somewhere- to be exact. 'Rich' is their destination, and for us, eh, not so much.

It certainly doesn't get the soldiers anywhere, other than deployed and then dead.
(Hopefully not, but it does happen.) My time in the club tells me that most of these young guys join the military because they 'can't get a job', or 'don't want to be a loser', or 'need money for college'. None have ever told me they 'want to fight a war' or 'kill people'. Not one. It always revolves around a job/money/college/not being a loser issue.

Priorities, priorities!

Mkay, now let's go back to the part about getting a job. Any young/old person in this country should technically be able to get one. And then be able to afford some type of education.... But, that's not happening. Most people are actually losing their jobs, and getting laid off, and so on. Some people have spent thousands on education to do their jobs, and are finding out there aren't any. Now they're stuck with loans they can't pay back. (This might ring a bell as right now the US owes 800- Billion dollars to China.) Regular people are losing their jobs, and then losing their homes too. And for the most part, MOST, if NONE of this is ANY of their faults.

PRIORITIES, PRIORITIES, PEOPLE!

Then, what happens is, the government sides with the BANKS who then take the homes of the TAXPAYERS that are essentially funding wars that cost too much money,and rack up debt for the United States, and then those people end up living with their parents, or already do*. (since their aging parents don't have jobs now, or can't retire due to their 401k shitting the bed, or some reason along that line.)
But alas, Uncle Sam wants you to pay up! For one I don't want to owe anyone anything, never mind 800 billion to China. I did not have part in creating the debt but my kids have to pay it back? How does that work, exactly?

Priorities?

My theory is that if you are not directly involved with a war profiteering group like a Haliburton, or a gun company, or a Blackwater, or just a guy in the military, you will either be out of a job/homeless/broke or severely struggling, like we all are now. Sometimes those who find a different calling can succeed, and as Americans we are resilient. But how long can we continue to be so, while our government obviously doesn't give two shits about it's own? Iraq and war, socialist healthcare, and all that stuff are the HIGHEST PRIORITY. The Average American, well, we're not really on the 'priority' list.

Where do strippers fit in?

Well, as you can see in the chart I've provided is during an era of Clinton, people actually had money. The Average JOE had money. They had money to spend on fun things like strippers. Strippers were indeed a priority during the Clinton era. Not sure if it's in direct relation to his blow job activity or not, but who knows?
And if guys had money to throw around at naked chicks, they probably had some for the wife and kids too. More family vacations, more visits to the spa, and so on.

Now most customers are coming in, complaining about being broke/laid off/unemployed/ etc. You name it. It doesn't matter the age, even the older guys don't have it. And believe me, there is nothing more offensive to dancers than a troupe of 40 somethings sitting around the club trying to chat us up, but yet having NO MONEY. (You can see photos of this on this blog to be exact.)

PRIORITIES!
Well, if you don't have money, one of the places you SHOULDN'T be is a strip club.*
We understand it's not your fault. But if you don't tip, or buy dances, then WE are UNEMPLOYED as well, so it's a big trickle down effect.
No offense but I don't want to sit and listen to you complain about having no money while I'm at work trying to make some. Can you say 'conundrum'?

Instead, perhaps we should take a good look at who and what is benefiting from all this war/excessive spending/bailouts and so on, Mkay?

People are not in control of their country, it's spending, and their own economy.
This is bad, it's wrong, and for the USA it's a damn shame.
Giving handouts to people that break our laws is another no-no, but our government seems to think that's ok too.

Instead of coming into the strip bar, and complaining to us, look to the people you 'elected into office' to run the show, mkay? Strippers are here to make your night better/ sexually harass you for cash/ listen to your problems/ drink with you for um, cash and so on.

If you don't have a job, it's not our fault. Don't get mad when we ask you for a dance! Write your congressman, senator, and the president. The one who promised
'change'. Ask where the 'bailout' money is, ask the FED why there are no checks and balances, and ask your leaders who line their pockets on the side from lobbyists why all this stuff is going on? Where is the 'change' we were promised?

As it seems today, the only change we have is what's left in our pockets, with some fuzz and an old piece of gum.

I'm an American. I'm a stripper. I'm a citizen. I'm a taxpayer.

I shouldn't have to be THIS BROKE all the time.

There are NO EXCUSES anymore for letting the absolute mess this country is in to perpetuate ANY FURTHER.

My list of priorities.

1. Get out of Iraq and do not spend any more in that country.

2. Get out of Afghanistan, and do not spend any more money in that country.
(no blood for oil)

3. Take all the money we'd be saving, and spend it on AMERICA, to get OUR house in order.

4. If banks are fucking up, DO NOT BAIL THEM OUT. TOO BAD.
If 'MR. HAPPY'S HOT DOGS' go out of business because they food poison the customers, then SO BE IT. It's BAD BUSINESS. If you want to keep your strip club customers coming* back for more you don't spill drinks on their crotches or get lipstick on their collars!

5. No more WELFARE for those who come ILLEGALLY. Sorry but I don't get how someone who BREAKS THE LAW is entitled to more than me, as I PAY through my ass* to live here. This says, "ANYONE WHO BREAKS THE LAW COME AND GET FREE CARE AND FOOD AND COLLEGE.... (chow bell rings) ding ding ding!"
That makes SO much sense, doesn't it? Give lawbreakers rewards, while struggling CITIZENS get fucked up the ass.
I work with a lot of illegals who get all benefits, plus then work at the club and take even more money, don't pay taxes, and puts a severe drain on the system. I know plenty of LEGAL immigrants who work hard and are awesome people here and DIDN'T BREAK THE LAW. How's that?

6. 3 strikes and you're out! If a GOV. official fucks the American people over by making bad decisions for the American People more than 3 times, you're out!!
Buh- Bye!

7. I don't know what 7 should be. I can't think of anything clever to put here,
so I won't.

Hopefully you can see how when we let others determine our priorities, especially those who don't have our best interests at heart, what can happen.
We end up unemployed. Broke. And whining about it, because nobody paid attention*
Hitler came to power too, because nobody paid attention.

Priorities.... hmmmf.

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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Unported License.


RESTORE THE REPUBLIC


SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE

Thursday, January 28, 2010

ALL those times, those really rich guys offered me money

to have sex with them.  I said no.

Now it's different.


TO read the rest.  BUY STRIPPER THE BOOK. 

It will be worth it.

Unfortunately

There are A LOT of guys that actually act like this...  and look like this too, and yeah, well.


I Never Knew

There was so many blogs out there about strippers...
http://www.portlandmercury.com/portland/in-the-shadows/Content?oid=2122946

Barnes and Noble extensive list of stripper books

http://browse.barnesandnoble.com/browse/nav.asp?No=0&N=256115&Ne=255786+256115&visgrp=nonfiction

We are no one, and we are every one...

http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20155516_20155530_20157948,00.html

Just another 80 year old stripper...

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25640691/

Why now, it's an assesment on books written by strippers, about stripping!

Who knew?

http://www.doublex.com/section/arts/my-life-g-string-round-stripper-memoirs

Apparently to some, it's been over done.

To some, it hasn't ever been done.

70 year old strippers

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/woman/real_life/article709803.ece

WOW, if it starts to get balmy, cover your salami!

VAGINA LOVE

I LOVE MY VAGINA.
It's got magical powers.
Apparently, Vagina Power is the newest thing, so please enjoy this video.

TITS

ARE FUN.  THAT IS ALL.

HOW TO REPEL EVERY STRIPPER WITHIN A 50 MILE RADIUS

If you want to make sure you repel and offend every stripper you come in contact with, follow the directions in this article, and those like it.  If you want a date, more than likely you will be leaving with your tail between your legs after attempting these maneuvers, but just for fun, try them.  Try talking to any stripper/entertainer/woman as if you are so much better than her, and aren't really there to spend money, just look for a date.  Oh, and the sob story about your girlfriend breaking up with you to get her sympathy is classic, but won't get you where you want to be.

Women are always attracted to over confident whiners that come in and are condescending yet-- want to take us on a date.  We are so flattered by that move.

Make sure you only buy one dance, if that, and make it look like you are not a 'money man'. Women are of course more attracted to guys that are broke and hang out in strip clubs.

  Do not fall for her scam, although you are perpetuating one right now.

Always ask the stripper of your dreams twenty questions, and not pay her anything.  Then, act cocky, tell her you want a date, and don't give your number out. Spend money on the other strippers, telling her they are 'hot'.  Make her crazy with jealousy, and she will be yours for sure.  If all else fails, get another job, working in the club just so you can get closer to them to get them in bed.  It's not 'stalking' yet, so don't worry!
Try all these tips, and she'll be yours in no time!

Read article with caution. Click the link below.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/269950/how_to_get_a_date_with_a_stripper_pg2.html?cat=41

STRIPPER POLES CAN BE DANGEROUS, please, back away from the pole.

Let's use some philosophy for a moment here, folks.

Strippers get a bad rap by promising extras and whatever else, and not following through on the deal after all the VIP money is spent.
Let's apply this to our politicians as we go forward with Obama's full term of presidency.

It's not what they say they'll do.  It's what they'll actually do once they're up there.

Should this rule be applied to our politicians as well?

Ah, promises, promises!*

(Not all promises are available, separate purchase may apply, batteries not included.*)

Not sure what else to say, so here is a picture of the President with a pancake on his head.







 

Ovulation good for business!

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200709/the-strippers-secret

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

I actually met two really nice guys last night that gave me some money.

One of them was from NY.  He was thug looking but not like that, at all.  Very nice. Former military.
Pleasant, cute, and fun to dance for.
He gave me over $100.  Very nice experience.
It was making me sweat, I might add.
Whew.

And another, who was very nice, and very tall with messy hair.
But he was so nice, and his hair suited him.
He was trying to get away from people and relax a bit.
I hoped the dance helped.
He was like 7 feet tall.

Probably had an elephant cock too.....

Really, not man bashing... just joking around but yeah- it's all true*


Now it's documented, for real.

Just to make sure we're even, someone had a poopy problem last night.

My friend cleaned it up... Yep, even women shit sometimes.


I sat in it without realizing, and then she cleaned it up.

The second 'shit' incident I've had in a few years now.

It's pretty gross to think you sat on a toilet that was supposed to
not have shit stains on it.

I had to wash my ass with dish detergent.  Dawn, to be exact.

Stay tuned to this blog for more horrifying TALES FROM THE STRIP.

I think I saw this guy at the club last night.



OH WAIT, He's there EVERY NIGHT!

What's missing in this photo? A compliment for you, if you can figure it out!


What's missing in this photo? Animal crackers for you if you can figure it out.


Where the real money is....

YES.

I wanna fuck you. 

Guys sing this to us at work.  And they look just like this guy.  What do you know?

UNEMPLOYMENT RATE OF SOME AREAS OF THE USA

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Paying with compliments*

Today, especially--  and even in the past, I've experienced men coming to the strip club for whatever reason they may have and having NO intention on paying for dances, or paying to look at any naked women whatsoever.
Whatever the reasoning is, which I won't get into right now, as that's not the kicker.

And yes, as it is, a free country and people can do what they will, and they do.

No matter how rude, or inappropriate, they still do it.

If you ask a guy if he wants a dance, he says
'No, but you are beautiful'...  

Then I ask,
"Well, obviously I'm not that beautiful to you, --because you won't even pay to look at me naked..!?'


Then, he says
"I am paying you, I'm paying you in compliments!"

Now, I can't say how offensive this is, because it goes beyond offensive actually.
(It's not funny, as in a Joe Peschi Goodfellas kind of way.)

But it sparked something in me, and when put in this way, you may fully recognize it's potential.
Everyone should start doing this, because we'd never have to pay for anything!

*Dear Citibank,


You are a wonderful, beautiful bank.  I love the way your floor is squeaky clean, 
and all your representatives are willing to service me right when I walk in.

  You are the most amazing bank ever.  You're built well, and very attractive.
It's really hot the way you gave me that mortgage, and stuff.  
You're hotter than all those other banks.

Very sexy, there Citi. 

(wink, and smile, and point)
Lookin' good!

And your low interest, well, it really gets me going, I'll have you know. 

Can you go a little lower...  ahh, yeah, that'd be great!


But even though I came into your bank and asked you to show me what you've got, 
I really feel that instead of
that pesky green stuff on paper-- 
I could pay you with my words.  
My compliments alone should be enough to satisfy your needs.
The words uttered from my lips should be more than money can buy,
as they are priceless.

Therefore, any mortgage payment that I might of asked for by coming into your bank, 
should be paid in full, after all, you are gorgeous.... 
and hotter than the others, so you don't need the money.
Sorry I won't be paying you this month, or any other month
in monetary value. 
But, keep up the good work!





Where to go...

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.
You're on your own.
And you know what you know.
You are the guy who'll decide where to go.
~Dr. Seuss

Thanks, Tiger Woods!

Ever since Tiger Woods got arrested I've gotten more dances with black men in the new year than I ever have before. This is the only correlation I can assess-- is that it's ok to like white women again. Apparently Tiger did, so now it's catching on.
I do like dancing for black men, or all men really but for a while there I only danced for about 5 black men a year.

The ratio has moved way up and beyond! Thanks Tiger!


Friday, January 15, 2010

STRIPPER THE BLOG

Eh, as I watch things change and wander away, I figured I'd share some of my knowledge with you.

Just getting ready for more work tonight. More nudity, drinking, and money.


What time is it?


Time to get naked.
No, for real.


What time is it?

Time to make money.

Time for more research. Research, research, research. Yes.
The only kind of it's type that I know of.



On another note, I had to sign a permission slip so my daughter could go to her school dance-
*no grinding or sexual dancing of any sort.
*appropriate clothes
*throwing trash in the trash can
*no second chances

Orders per principal. Listen, if they're that worried, don't even have the dances.
If it's that inappropriate, then why bother?

Anyhow. Time for the grind.