Paying with compliments*

Today, especially--  and even in the past, I've experienced men coming to the strip club for whatever reason they may have and having NO intention on paying for dances, or paying to look at any naked women whatsoever.
Whatever the reasoning is, which I won't get into right now, as that's not the kicker.

And yes, as it is, a free country and people can do what they will, and they do.

No matter how rude, or inappropriate, they still do it.

If you ask a guy if he wants a dance, he says
'No, but you are beautiful'...  

Then I ask,
"Well, obviously I'm not that beautiful to you, --because you won't even pay to look at me naked..!?'


Then, he says
"I am paying you, I'm paying you in compliments!"

Now, I can't say how offensive this is, because it goes beyond offensive actually.
(It's not funny, as in a Joe Peschi Goodfellas kind of way.)

But it sparked something in me, and when put in this way, you may fully recognize it's potential.
Everyone should start doing this, because we'd never have to pay for anything!

*Dear Citibank,

You are a wonderful, beautiful bank.  I love the way your floor is squeaky clean, 

and all your representatives are willing to service me right when I walk in.

  You are the most amazing bank ever.  You're built well, and very attractive.

It's really hot the way you gave me that mortgage, and stuff.  

You're hotter than all those other banks.

Very sexy, there Citi. 

(wink, and smile, and point)

Lookin' good!

And your low interest, well, it really gets me going, I'll have you know. 

Can you go a little lower...  ahh, yeah, that'd be great!

But even though I came into your bank and asked you to show me what you've got, 

I really feel that instead of

that pesky green stuff on paper-- 

I could pay you with my words.  

My compliments alone should be enough to satisfy your needs.

The words uttered from my lips should be more than money can buy,

as they are priceless.

Therefore, any mortgage payment that I might of asked for by coming into your bank, 

should be paid in full, after all, you are gorgeous.... 

and hotter than the others, so you don't need the money.
Sorry I won't be paying you this month, or any other month
in monetary value. 
But, keep up the good work!