Being Naked means.....

............


I guess you'll have to find out what it means, won't you now?

The best thing about this blog

is watching the adsense ads try and keep up with what I'm writing about!  What a great piece of real estate for every kind of shopper!

We've got the Mangroomer here, Afroromance, and more.

I come to the blog not everyday but on occasion, and I read the adsense ads and it's so funny!   It really does look up the things you write about and match it! 


I had some for other razors before and other funny stuff too.   It is a trip.  I don't think anyone's bought anything yet, but it's still funny..... 

Dear Tiger,

I forgive you.

Don't worry, your disappointing behaviors really have had no affect on my life other than you're on the damn tv too much.

I don't care how many mistresses you had or who you fucked.

I don't give a shit, really.  I don't watch golf either, and it's your business where you drive your balls in for long and deep shots.

 

I personally don't care about your love life.

Hell, I don't even care about your golf game, buddy.  So, don't worry about it.  

People have

problems. 

Like, problems with say, cancer, and murder, and foreclosure and shit like that--  those little things

that gets everyone's panties in a bunch.

With you it just seems like you got really famous, got a bunch of money, fucked around on your wife, blah blah blah,

you and a bunch of other guys, and guess what? They're not on the news.

Know why?

BECAUSE IT'S NOT NEWS.

Guys have done stuff like this forever.

Nothing against you, personally, Tiger but I really don't care about your infidelities and crap.

I have more important things like

cleaning my house

because I don't have a maid,

but you probably do.

Or my kid who asks me why you are on every single channel

apologizing.

The news and you think to seem we all want to know, but I just want you to know

that I really don't care what you did.

But, your wife probably does.

So can you please get off my tv now?

News channel, please find some ACTUAL NEWS.

There's plenty of it out there.

Thank you.

Yeah, yeah, take it off!

Life is funny

And if you don't have some type of sense of humor, you'll die.
Not only will you die, you'll die miserable.

I know I'm going to die.  We all are.
At least I will die somewhat happy.

And know that I laughed in the face of
despair.
Hurt.
Challenges.
And so on.  And I lived.
I truly lived.

I took what was given to me, and
made something out of it.

I may not have done something
so important like
cure cancer,
save the world,
or
build a giant building or something,
but
I did live, and help some people.

I did live, and use my life for joy.
I did live, and love, and use every
second on Earth that I
was given
to
experience what is here.

Good or bad,
for whatever it's worth.

I'm taking it with me when I go.
And I will laugh aloud.

Because life is funny.

MY SNATCH IS LIKE A PORCUPINE'S ASS

When I don't shave, that is.

It's like a nuclear power plant or something anyway, with molten lava like heat, but when you add friction-
whoa......

Look out!

But seriously.

If I don't shave for a few days, I can't even walk right because of the friction.  And razors aren't cheap!
No- they are not cheap.  One pack is like 10 bucks or so!

Even if I wasn't taking my clothes off in a public venue, I'd still have to shave my snatchola.
I can't take the hair.

It feels like a sandpaper porcupine on my genitalia that does a disappearing act every day.

First he's there, and then I pull a  magic razor out of my hat, and poof-- he's gone!

Would it be called '5 0' clock shadow' even if it's on a place where the sun don't shine?

True story, folks.

I'll be going to the gym later, and going on the treadmill,  so I have to shave first, or else there might be
explosions in town from me splitting the atom with my crotch.

This post has been powered by
the energy from
My Snatch.

The Best Thing About

staying up that late at night, is driving home listening to Coast to Coast AM.

As if my night wasn't scary enough, right? 

I get to drive home alone, in the dark night, in my little car, by myself, and listen to scary stuff!

As if my night full of over testosteroned scrotebags wasn't enough, I go for MORE! 
YESSS!!
(Yes, I'm being mean here for a moment.   Wait...   ok, it's over.)

No really, if I wasn't up that late I'd never be able to freak myself out on the ride home listening to EVPS,
ghosts, and a lot of other weird shit on that show too.  It's a good show. 

I do like it.  And like I said, if I was not up at that hour trying to get home I'd never even know about it.
So, Coast to Coast, the strippers are listening......  yes, we are.

And no, not all the guys that come into the club are 'overtestosteroned scrotebags.'

I was just being kind of mean, and the correct term and amount is

'broke overtestosteroned scrotebags'

and the approximate number is 62%.

Approximately.  

We should address this on a late night talk show or something....
perhaps they're actually aliens in human bodies.

Hmmm....?

So, I was talking to some guys,

What else is new?

And one of their main reasons for cheating on their girlfriends was --  you guessed it.....

BOOZE!

Both of them used that excuse
and then wondered why their girlfriends didn't want them to go out drinking.
And they were ok with that.   WTF?

They were over 30 years old, and sounded like they were just called out to recess in kindergarten.

And I'm not gonna blame it all on them, because some of the blame really has to go on the women
who keep dating and fucking them.

It's your fault ladies, if you keep fucking these retards.
Your fault!
  Stop dating/fucking them and they might
have to change their retarded ways.  Eventually.

Maybe not for you,-- but do the public some good and stop it now, before it's too late-- and
you are knocked up with a little baby retard, with a head shaped like a football, and a keg strapped
to his back at birth.  Don't do it.  Save yourself.

In fact, save us all from another fucking retard in society
that will use every excuse in the book to do whatever he wants
to whom whoever he wants,
and then blame it on the BOOZE, because it 'was there'.

Save yourself the heartache of being cheated on, so you don't have to end up on Maury, and take a lie detector for your 'baby daddy' to get you some child support.

He's not going to marry you, he's always gonna cheat on you, because of the booze,
( and any other convenient excuse)
and he's not even that good looking anyway.
It's not like his hygiene is exceptional or anything or his penis is that big either.
SO,
just back away before it even starts.  For real ladies.  You can do better.
And if you don't believe that
well, you'll get exactly these kinds of guys.

Insensitive, over testosteroned, uber sports fan, misogynistic, bad hygiene, think the world belongs to them kind of guys, yuk!
And what's even more sad, is in society, this behavior is rewarded,
and it's also rewarded every time you fuck them!!

My question is, why?
Why do it?

And for those guys, they'll just never know how fucking ridiculous they are, because someone keeps fucking them, so as long as they still get laid, they'll think it's ok to just keep acting like total retards.

And no, I don't hate guys, I just dislike the retards.

And ladies, please, stop fucking them.
You'll do the world a favor.

Strippers Sue Club

http://www.masslive.com/news/index.ssf/2010/02/strippers_sue_5_western_mass_n.html

The best thing about this article is the comments.

Strippers don't make $800 bucks a night anymore, for just stripping.

People are so ignorant.  SO ignorant.

Strippers have not made that kind of money in over two presidencies.

Nobody was blowing Bush, or his father. 

Nobody has had that kind of loot.....

But if ignorance is bliss, they must be very happy people.

Cockgrinding is an art form. Really.

I'd like to say.

If you can rub a guy's crotch and within 7- 12  minutes help him jizz himself without actually touching him, then that right there is talent.

Not all guys, but a lot of them come* into the club looking for a little stress release.
We call it
"Get Off  Night"

For everybody else, that is Tuesdays, and Sundays.

Seriously, folks.  Guys have it SOOOO good. 

They can walk in to a nudie bar, have a drink, get a few dances, jizz themselves, and then go home like nothing ever happened.

How great is THAT?  All done in UNDER AN HOUR.

And for all you people who want to know the secret of our Johnny Come Latelys* (or earlys depending how you look at it)  it's best to come* in at a weird hour.  7-8-9 PM that's a good time, as it's kind of slow on the weekends during those hours.

Or anytime, on Sundays or Tuesdays.     Your best bet is to have the dances when there aren't a lot of people getting them.  This ensures the bouncer won't come* over every two minutes* and ruin 'naughty time'.



 Those are almost the best kind of customers.  Almost. 
They're easy to deal with, and fun, and they are willing to pay you in cash.


As long as the Oscar Myer Wiener stays in it's package, we're good!

Here's a little tribute to all my Johnny Come* Latelys with a video from Lonely Island.